Hey Silken, this whole polyamory thing makes me nervous simply because I’m paranoid about obtaining an STD. Doesn’t getting poly enhance your threat of STDs? I’d assume poly people today practice secure sex, but doesn’t that get inside the way of intimacy?
1) There's no such thing as “safe sex”. Not even masturbation is secure sex, given that you may give yourself one thing for those who don’t maintain your toys clean. So, when we take precautions, it can be safer-sex, but its nevertheless not 100% safe.
2) Practicing safer-sex is quite, pretty essential. But in poly-sexual situations it is vital. This is the 300# gorilla inside the area that no one desires to speak about because it might appear paranoid, untrusting, crude, or melodramatic. As a proponent of polyamory, I'm also an advocate of safer-sex practices, because the last point I choose to do is transmit one thing to somebody I enjoy.
3) Many people think that practicing safer-sex means utilizing a condom for the duration of intercourse. This is naive, practically criminally so. In case you are utilizing condoms if you fuck but not when you suck him, or do not use gloves plus a barrier any time you are providing her oral, then you definitely aren’t practicing safer sex, you will be playing at it. (Read much more about the way to have Safer Sex at About.com)
4) Polyamory is Polynomial. In the not as well distant past, I had 3 partners. 3. Now lets do the math. If I've three partners, and each of them has one particular other partner, and every of their one-others has one-other, how lots of body-fluids are possibly getting inter-exchanged? ten. Which is lots of semen and vaginal secretions, saliva and mucous membranes, and if I hadn’t been scrupulous about screening my sex/play partners, then I place myself and every person I was with, and every person they had been with, at danger. Many people are pursuing double stimulation. They wonder a double sided dildo to fill their ass and vagina at the same time.
five) Absolutely everyone who's sexually active in non-exclusive relationships ought to have standard screenings for STIs (sexually transmitted infections). You might trust your companion(s), but do you trust your partner’s partners? Is your inner circle sexually responsible adequate for fluid-bonding (Do not know what fluid bonding is, read this clear explanation at asextoys.com)? There are plenty of stories of fluid-bonded couples who've had to go back to utilizing barriers due to the fact among them had poorly-protected sex or took on a secondary partner who couldn’t offer proof of current screenings and the other partner(s) felt it was prudent to practice safer-sex through the six month testing interim. She quickly finds herself restrained, being spanked, clamped, face slapped and introduced to all kind of toys like a pussy toys and a vaginal electrode.
6) The value of confidentiality and/or anonymity for screening. Take into consideration irrespective of whether or not to use your insurer / major doctor for screenings. I know we're within the middle of a health care crisis and reform, and Insurers are Huge Brother in all this. The possess the pot of gold, they would like to hold it to themselves, and they use your medical records to discriminate against you. If they know that you're routinely tested for STIs, they might take into consideration that an indicator of “risky behavior” (as opposed to health maintenance) and drop you or raise your rates. You'll find providers out there like getSTDtested.com, at the same time as different regional clinics, that offer testing at many different prices with out compromising your medical history.
Just a number of anecdotes:
It isn't uncommon for poly-couples to possess a contract for themselves and their secondary partners - contracts that happen to be reviewed and signed prior to intimacy, not after. Such contracts frequently demand that all partners be tested semi-annually, disclose any and all exposures, and to work with barriers through sex for at the least six months ahead of considering moving to a “fluid-bonded” status. I’ve been presented with and signed greater than a few of those more than the years and I’ve often located them to be an affirmation of my judgment in my partners.
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